I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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