I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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