i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
