it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
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Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
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We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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