In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
