if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
