entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
