just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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