so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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