My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
