But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
