I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
