I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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