I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My pussy is not your playground.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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