So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize