somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
