I could have mohawked her pubes.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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