love makes seman taste better
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
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i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
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I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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