My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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