i would punch a child for taco bell
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize