Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
