Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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