I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
