So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Boobs speak an international language.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
