Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
