We need to rekindle our bromance
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
