How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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