Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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