she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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