maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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