I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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