is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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