Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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