the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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