See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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