I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
