please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
