tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize