btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
