I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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