Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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