Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
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I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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