I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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