he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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