i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
its not stalking. its research.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
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She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
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That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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