Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.

(231): View more from Michigan

better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.

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(312): View more from Illinois

My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(774): View more from Massachusetts

Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Jesus...So southern.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I will feel awake by 6 pm

(937): View more from Ohio

Are we not meeting until 6?

(513): View more from Ohio

No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party

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