Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game