i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I FOUND THE LEGS