these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I love having hate sex.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
