try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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