Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
