just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
