We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
