Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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