i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
