oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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