I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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