How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
