Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
