I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
