I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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